Nostalgia strikes back
I was just re-reading all my previous posts, to embed dots inbetween names and what have you. Ah how fast time flies! Slow down dammit!
It's november now. Just a few more weeks, and it'd be a year since i last studied at ACSI. The time gap between the present and the past (AC) jus widens interminably. Ah.. its been ONE year since i was in AC. Can you believe it? I Can't, don't want to either. The wider the gap, the less intense the feelings, someday it would reach a point where there's almost no relationship between me and AC at all. I can't imagine how i would be like then. I don't want to forget the school! It has made such an significant difference in my life.
One day i would go back there as just a mere visitor, so old i wouldn't even be mistaken for a student or seen as an ex-student. I'd jus be walking around, or perhaps i might even be chased away by the security guard. Teachers don't teach forever, someday they may all be gone too. If they stayed would they still recognise me? Such great teachers. The day when everyone is gone, AC would become nothing more den my alma mater and part of my memory.
There would be not much traces of familiarity left either. Few more years down the road, the very last badge of juniors that i would at least recognise would be gone, " going back to visit my juniors =) " would no longer be a reason for returning. With each consequent batch of juniors joining us as ex-ACSians, we'd be pushed even further away from AC, the further we are, the less in touch we would be with the school, perhaps even until a point where the school would be so distant, so far away. I sure hope i won't lose sight of it. With all the renovations and new facilities, ACSI would be much different too. The very-much-memorable art room is already gone =(, it is not unlikely that there are others which may go too. The prefectorial board room would also be relocated.
Such dreadful thoughts.
In just a short time, people can actually change so drastically, some for the better, some for the worse. I'm not spared either. I did promise to my friends that no matter what, i would never change. Sigh sorry bros, i can't keep to my word, nomatter how hard i try it jus ain't possible. Even the most routine things that i used to do, such as drinking nescafe, ive forgot. I only just realized that nowadays when i do drink it, i can no longer remember the significance that it has.
In terms of outward physical appearances, i've been doing a good job of maintaining it as it was a year ago. I've still got the same sportsmen body, nth's changed =) i dont do gym either so im pretty much the same size. Not growing any taller too. i still wear my trademark yellow casio watch! but now with a white acsi band too haha. New accessory. Im still wearing the shoe that i bought together with yongneng. My hairstyle has remained the same. I'm trying hard to preserve my style of talking too, but that's kinda hard, esp with so much chinese influence around. My spectacle shape has remained the same though all the years, maybe jus getting a little more squarish.
Sadly, even though i may look the same outwardly, my AC mentality's falling apart. I can't help it =( I'm so sorry. sorry for myself. People change, why must i change too? I want to be the same weixuan, so that when friends are going through bouts of nostalgia they can still look around and say "hey there are still friends who are still as warm/close/brotherly/friendly as before. Friends who still remember me! Friends who still treasure the past and all the people related to past ". Even if they haven't talked to me in like eons they can still chat me up anytime, and id reply with the same level of enthusiam as ever before. It saddens me that there are people who just forget old friends when they have found new close friends and/or are enjoying their present lives so much that they can't be bothered about the past. There are so many people whom i know now, who just treat you as if you and him/her were never close friends before, they'd jus give you short one liners and wouldn't even be bothered to talk to you. It is grieviating to talk to people like that, and i wouldn't want my friends to suffer from that either, with ME being the tormentor. I would never want to be like them, i can't promise that i won't be like them, but at least i'd try my best not to.
Perhaps the most saddening thing is the fact that i'm starting to forget memories from the past. Wonderful memories, all the significant and memorable events, all the fun and out of point things that we've did, all the childish fun that we used to have. all the insider jokes (and even the conflicts). Im having difficulty recollecting all the routinely things that AC life comprised off, especially all the 'smaller' and more insignificant things, such as morning patrols, morning duties, thought of the days, flag raising duties, morning fall ins, scout hikes, Sanitarium muesli bars, gayness, ponning of lessons and hiding in the library.
Sorry i don't feel like continuing, perhaps another day.
It's november now. Just a few more weeks, and it'd be a year since i last studied at ACSI. The time gap between the present and the past (AC) jus widens interminably. Ah.. its been ONE year since i was in AC. Can you believe it? I Can't, don't want to either. The wider the gap, the less intense the feelings, someday it would reach a point where there's almost no relationship between me and AC at all. I can't imagine how i would be like then. I don't want to forget the school! It has made such an significant difference in my life.
One day i would go back there as just a mere visitor, so old i wouldn't even be mistaken for a student or seen as an ex-student. I'd jus be walking around, or perhaps i might even be chased away by the security guard. Teachers don't teach forever, someday they may all be gone too. If they stayed would they still recognise me? Such great teachers. The day when everyone is gone, AC would become nothing more den my alma mater and part of my memory.
There would be not much traces of familiarity left either. Few more years down the road, the very last badge of juniors that i would at least recognise would be gone, " going back to visit my juniors =) " would no longer be a reason for returning. With each consequent batch of juniors joining us as ex-ACSians, we'd be pushed even further away from AC, the further we are, the less in touch we would be with the school, perhaps even until a point where the school would be so distant, so far away. I sure hope i won't lose sight of it. With all the renovations and new facilities, ACSI would be much different too. The very-much-memorable art room is already gone =(, it is not unlikely that there are others which may go too. The prefectorial board room would also be relocated.
Such dreadful thoughts.
In just a short time, people can actually change so drastically, some for the better, some for the worse. I'm not spared either. I did promise to my friends that no matter what, i would never change. Sigh sorry bros, i can't keep to my word, nomatter how hard i try it jus ain't possible. Even the most routine things that i used to do, such as drinking nescafe, ive forgot. I only just realized that nowadays when i do drink it, i can no longer remember the significance that it has.
In terms of outward physical appearances, i've been doing a good job of maintaining it as it was a year ago. I've still got the same sportsmen body, nth's changed =) i dont do gym either so im pretty much the same size. Not growing any taller too. i still wear my trademark yellow casio watch! but now with a white acsi band too haha. New accessory. Im still wearing the shoe that i bought together with yongneng. My hairstyle has remained the same. I'm trying hard to preserve my style of talking too, but that's kinda hard, esp with so much chinese influence around. My spectacle shape has remained the same though all the years, maybe jus getting a little more squarish.
Sadly, even though i may look the same outwardly, my AC mentality's falling apart. I can't help it =( I'm so sorry. sorry for myself. People change, why must i change too? I want to be the same weixuan, so that when friends are going through bouts of nostalgia they can still look around and say "hey there are still friends who are still as warm/close/brotherly/friendly as before. Friends who still remember me! Friends who still treasure the past and all the people related to past ". Even if they haven't talked to me in like eons they can still chat me up anytime, and id reply with the same level of enthusiam as ever before. It saddens me that there are people who just forget old friends when they have found new close friends and/or are enjoying their present lives so much that they can't be bothered about the past. There are so many people whom i know now, who just treat you as if you and him/her were never close friends before, they'd jus give you short one liners and wouldn't even be bothered to talk to you. It is grieviating to talk to people like that, and i wouldn't want my friends to suffer from that either, with ME being the tormentor. I would never want to be like them, i can't promise that i won't be like them, but at least i'd try my best not to.
Perhaps the most saddening thing is the fact that i'm starting to forget memories from the past. Wonderful memories, all the significant and memorable events, all the fun and out of point things that we've did, all the childish fun that we used to have. all the insider jokes (and even the conflicts). Im having difficulty recollecting all the routinely things that AC life comprised off, especially all the 'smaller' and more insignificant things, such as morning patrols, morning duties, thought of the days, flag raising duties, morning fall ins, scout hikes, Sanitarium muesli bars, gayness, ponning of lessons and hiding in the library.
Sorry i don't feel like continuing, perhaps another day.
posted by wx at 11:42 PM
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