dilemma

crap...its tuesday.. and friday is when our o level results are out... im feelin like shit.. in school. at home. everywhere.

Jus why am i so depressed everyday? its either i miss my old life..or i realise how nice my class is..either way i feel sad..when i reminisce e past.. i feel that life sucks right now.. but when my class is fun ( eg today's free periods..ct session..and e treat by ms koh ).. i feel depressed too..tinkin that i may hav to leav dem if i were to go and join my old friends.. After all..they're now my friends..

I should have just remained an introvert for the first three months..so that i wouldnt be affected by how many friends i have made in hwa chong..or how established i am here in terms of ccas and social life.. If i go to rj..i'd have to start..all over again..from square one.
Wat if i cant stay in hwachong? wouldnt being antisocial make my departure less hurtful?

I find it sad to leave...to tink that my hc friends live life on without me..would anyone even miss me? I'd be happy with my old friends..but then now there'd be a reversal of position.. where i'd find my hc friends living so far away on the other corner of the world..

This is confusing..it sucks man.. my decision to stay fluctuates and changes almost every minute... i wish i dont have to make such an decision...RJ/HC as a first choice? sigh