Bittersweet Reminiscence
I really shouldn't be posting at this time time of the day within this period of time before my prelims, but ah well there are some thoughts that are worth penning down in case they get out of my head. I in a don't-feel-like-phrasing-thoughts-properly-like-gp-style-kinda-mood now so forgive me for incoherent spamming =)
I've just changed the warning alert that appears when ppl visit here. It used to read
"Read at your own discretion. If i didnt tell you about this blog url personally then there are probably stuff that you shouldn't know about. Enjoy!". That is no longer pertinent anymore, not now nor ever. Things have changed, perspectives have been swayed and reshaped over the course of these 2 SHORT years. What have i got to hide from anyone? from people who have shared these two years of my life with me? I should have realised that i have outphased the purpose of this blog, and darn, i should have had this revelation earlier. I regret.
The agenda of this blog has changed; the purpose, the content, and the targeted reader population. I had created this blog to update old friends on my life, and as an outlet for me to freely spill out my thoughts and feelings, as i didnt really have anyone i could really relate or have deep conversations with in school. I was a depressed boy, this was a sad blog. But life has seriously brightened up for me. Its time i chronicled down the happy and memorable times that i have in hwachong, the memories forged by me, my classmates and my schoolmates. They're special people to me too, they should more den deserve to be written about here. Ive dwelled long enough in the past, and only this year have i started to treasure the present. But these ain't enough, im afraid id forget about all the things that have happened in these two years. I was just browsing through my previous posts, how little i speak of my school life. Every single memory has its value, i don't want to have a day where i'd look back and find myself unable to recollect much about the daily events in school, be it as mundane as the routine basketball sessions we have every friday before CT sessions. No time to lose, start today man.
I didnt want people to visit this blog by chance because i didn't want anyone to know what i was going through, the kinda thoughts id entertained. I was afraid it would somehow affect my life in school. I was uncertain about the future, just living each day as it came. The more the no. of ppl who visit this place, the lesser the degree of freedom of speech i would have (sorry too much stats). Won't be able to talk bout everything under the sun. I had morphed into quite an introvert since i stepped into this school, kept so many secrets, and sadly i remain so even until now. =( It's hard to change my attitude or behaviour once ive set a tone and established my persona in the first few months of school. I can't just change drastically. I've been trying and yes ive changed! Compare me now with how i was in 1st 3 months, im glad i've opened up so much. I'm almost behaving naturally now, and i can't be much happier and unrestricted. My classmates still don't understand much of me even till now. I don't know why i still keep things from them, hello boy it's almost the end of school. How i wish i had shared a greater part of my life with them, there are times i wish i can just talk to them about certain topics, but i realise i can't because they don't know about that side of me yet. Regrets regrets. Is it human nature to treasure things only when they are about to end?
Alright, i shouldn't dwell too much on what ive failed to do, partly cause there are just too many to list, and partly cause it doenst do much good to harp over such things does it? -"to put it curtly, GET OVER IT!"-. But ah i don't know why all the nostalgia's coming back recently. I cried everynight for the past 4 nights. I miss my secondary school life, and of course, im starting to miss the times gone by in hc, that's double the anguish. Roughly more den a year and a half ago, i did predict that one day when school is ending, i'd miss the times i've had in hwachong, and i'd start treasuring life. I said all those even though what i felt were far from it, but i knew things would definitely change. 2 years have gone in a flash, i do love my friends here, it's a wonderful place, i love the culture, i love my life, and i still look forward to school. I'm not saying i should have felt this way earlier, i know it wasn't possible. I'm just once again disturbed by an unequivocal fact, that life is short and all things do come to an end. Once this phase of life has ended, i've move on to the next phase, and i do believe that through the expereince i've picked up here, i won't make the same mistake of taking things for-granted again.
I havent been treating my class as much as they deserve to be treated. Rarr crying again.
Today is the second last day of school. Me zongyi bernard nic tingfu delin timothy Andy and ChuanYuan stayed back to play basketball even though PE was cancelled. I've been starting to play much basketball lately, not much reason for the change, it's just that i only recovered from friggin knee injury like late june-july, haha.. so i can finally enjoy sports, and i'm doing so as much as i can! Pe today was fun, ah redundant phrase, Pe is always fun! The way Timothy play damn funny.. hahah, he's quite clumsy, but whoa not bad out of tyconess he scored two damn nice ones from like quite far away! haha. After that ppl started leaving for Chem S, and soon left me zongyi tingfu and chuanyuan to play. Play till bout 6 den stop already, me zy tf buy drink sit down talk cock. That's how the second last day of school ended. Alot of ppl start bringing cameras already, should bring mine tmr!
On tuesday had chem remedial. damn funny lar after the class remedial we had group remedials. Tingfu and bernard were fighting around, den soon i joined in. haha damn fun! just like the old times i fight with abel and chongguang like that. Childish fun! haven't done such childish crap since like acsi man. Nic joined in for awhile also, den left cos he not part of remedial. After awhile was just me and bernard in a 1v1 deathmatch, supper fun!! haha. I used a wide range of arsenal, para/longswords/daggers/shurikens/shortgun manual pump action and automatic/bazooka/rocket launcher/sniper rifle/smg/dual wield pistols/magnum pistol/grenade/hand combat blabla..haha.. Bernard was like some invincible thing just keep approaching slowly, so i just kept shooting. Funniest thing was when he sat turn and started imitating some turning action, like pedal bicycle with his hand. He was turning those kinda howitzer artillery things hahaha. Later Zongyi joined us. and we carried out raids against some random girl hiding at the back of the Lecture Theatre, damn weird just sit there read book. Man should've taken more videos. Pam did take some videos! =).
Alright man i've typped myself happy! i can go do my homework now =)
I've just changed the warning alert that appears when ppl visit here. It used to read
"Read at your own discretion. If i didnt tell you about this blog url personally then there are probably stuff that you shouldn't know about. Enjoy!". That is no longer pertinent anymore, not now nor ever. Things have changed, perspectives have been swayed and reshaped over the course of these 2 SHORT years. What have i got to hide from anyone? from people who have shared these two years of my life with me? I should have realised that i have outphased the purpose of this blog, and darn, i should have had this revelation earlier. I regret.
The agenda of this blog has changed; the purpose, the content, and the targeted reader population. I had created this blog to update old friends on my life, and as an outlet for me to freely spill out my thoughts and feelings, as i didnt really have anyone i could really relate or have deep conversations with in school. I was a depressed boy, this was a sad blog. But life has seriously brightened up for me. Its time i chronicled down the happy and memorable times that i have in hwachong, the memories forged by me, my classmates and my schoolmates. They're special people to me too, they should more den deserve to be written about here. Ive dwelled long enough in the past, and only this year have i started to treasure the present. But these ain't enough, im afraid id forget about all the things that have happened in these two years. I was just browsing through my previous posts, how little i speak of my school life. Every single memory has its value, i don't want to have a day where i'd look back and find myself unable to recollect much about the daily events in school, be it as mundane as the routine basketball sessions we have every friday before CT sessions. No time to lose, start today man.
I didnt want people to visit this blog by chance because i didn't want anyone to know what i was going through, the kinda thoughts id entertained. I was afraid it would somehow affect my life in school. I was uncertain about the future, just living each day as it came. The more the no. of ppl who visit this place, the lesser the degree of freedom of speech i would have (sorry too much stats). Won't be able to talk bout everything under the sun. I had morphed into quite an introvert since i stepped into this school, kept so many secrets, and sadly i remain so even until now. =( It's hard to change my attitude or behaviour once ive set a tone and established my persona in the first few months of school. I can't just change drastically. I've been trying and yes ive changed! Compare me now with how i was in 1st 3 months, im glad i've opened up so much. I'm almost behaving naturally now, and i can't be much happier and unrestricted. My classmates still don't understand much of me even till now. I don't know why i still keep things from them, hello boy it's almost the end of school. How i wish i had shared a greater part of my life with them, there are times i wish i can just talk to them about certain topics, but i realise i can't because they don't know about that side of me yet. Regrets regrets. Is it human nature to treasure things only when they are about to end?
Alright, i shouldn't dwell too much on what ive failed to do, partly cause there are just too many to list, and partly cause it doenst do much good to harp over such things does it? -"to put it curtly, GET OVER IT!"-. But ah i don't know why all the nostalgia's coming back recently. I cried everynight for the past 4 nights. I miss my secondary school life, and of course, im starting to miss the times gone by in hc, that's double the anguish. Roughly more den a year and a half ago, i did predict that one day when school is ending, i'd miss the times i've had in hwachong, and i'd start treasuring life. I said all those even though what i felt were far from it, but i knew things would definitely change. 2 years have gone in a flash, i do love my friends here, it's a wonderful place, i love the culture, i love my life, and i still look forward to school. I'm not saying i should have felt this way earlier, i know it wasn't possible. I'm just once again disturbed by an unequivocal fact, that life is short and all things do come to an end. Once this phase of life has ended, i've move on to the next phase, and i do believe that through the expereince i've picked up here, i won't make the same mistake of taking things for-granted again.
I havent been treating my class as much as they deserve to be treated. Rarr crying again.
Today is the second last day of school. Me zongyi bernard nic tingfu delin timothy Andy and ChuanYuan stayed back to play basketball even though PE was cancelled. I've been starting to play much basketball lately, not much reason for the change, it's just that i only recovered from friggin knee injury like late june-july, haha.. so i can finally enjoy sports, and i'm doing so as much as i can! Pe today was fun, ah redundant phrase, Pe is always fun! The way Timothy play damn funny.. hahah, he's quite clumsy, but whoa not bad out of tyconess he scored two damn nice ones from like quite far away! haha. After that ppl started leaving for Chem S, and soon left me zongyi tingfu and chuanyuan to play. Play till bout 6 den stop already, me zy tf buy drink sit down talk cock. That's how the second last day of school ended. Alot of ppl start bringing cameras already, should bring mine tmr!
On tuesday had chem remedial. damn funny lar after the class remedial we had group remedials. Tingfu and bernard were fighting around, den soon i joined in. haha damn fun! just like the old times i fight with abel and chongguang like that. Childish fun! haven't done such childish crap since like acsi man. Nic joined in for awhile also, den left cos he not part of remedial. After awhile was just me and bernard in a 1v1 deathmatch, supper fun!! haha. I used a wide range of arsenal, para/longswords/daggers/shurikens/shortgun manual pump action and automatic/bazooka/rocket launcher/sniper rifle/smg/dual wield pistols/magnum pistol/grenade/hand combat blabla..haha.. Bernard was like some invincible thing just keep approaching slowly, so i just kept shooting. Funniest thing was when he sat turn and started imitating some turning action, like pedal bicycle with his hand. He was turning those kinda howitzer artillery things hahaha. Later Zongyi joined us. and we carried out raids against some random girl hiding at the back of the Lecture Theatre, damn weird just sit there read book. Man should've taken more videos. Pam did take some videos! =).
Alright man i've typped myself happy! i can go do my homework now =)
posted by wx at 8:29 PM
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