update

so many things have happened since i've last blogged. just too many to blog. i tot it'd be better to express in disconnected thoughts

Its the march hols now, and i find life aimless, boring and a waste of time. Why cant life be as interesting as it was last year? Last year's march hols was so much funner. How i celebrated my birthday with all my friends in school after drama night, how i could still sail for my school, how fun it was to be at the sailing center with all my sailing friends. I miss living life as a sailing captain, a councillor, a fellow 4.9 classmate, an art student, an ACSian. Life just seems so.. lifeless.

It seems like its ACS I which gave me all my life.

Where are all my the people whom i used to message last year at this point in time? Why does everyone seem so distant, as though everyone has nothing to do with me anymore. Everybody's changed. I've changed. Where has my cheeryness disappeared to, what happened to all the crappiness and childishness?

Since when did jinglin become so dao? why?

My class is great, but i suck so screw myself for not being able to appreciate them.

If only yongneng matheus marcus leslie and zhenghan went to acjc, den i'd be there too.

If only zheng han and yongneng wouldnt be at bad terms with each other because of a girl.

ACS is first once again in this week's regatta, if only i could be there to pray for the team again just before we go out to bring glory to God and the school. If only i could still be able to help everyone pull boat.

It would be great if the council were as united as before, now everybody has found new friends. i am refering to those at acjc.

It would be my pleasure to go back to help out in art back in acsi, just like wat yongneng suggested. No longer for points, but for the purpose of being able to be back to enjoy the feeling of doing art in ac with familiar faces. Its just like the old days.

Screw pearls points. I chose to stay in hc for jae because i knew i had a chance of better records at hc. I would have points for double syf at both strings and co, and i am confident of getting into council. Now which of these matter? I could have been back in ac, where i can play bass with my brother, gabriel sim and michelle quak. I wld be able to play in the orchestra with Hussein and Aaron Fu.

I would be able to pace with Aaron Fu every pe again. i can continue calling him dumbass, and racing with him every science practical, as well as doing other stupid tings such as playing with the squirt bottle. If i went ac i can join squash and strings with him, just as we agreed to last time.

I feel bad not going back to ac. So many friends have asked me to go back to ac. I feel like i've let them down.

Aaron Fu stayed in AC because he thought i would be going back. He said if i went back and took triple science he would appeal to switch over to my class. He was serious about it.

I came to HC for reputation's sake. Screw fu**ing reputation. Why should i place myself in depression just to have people look up to me? I didnt go to ac because im afraid that people would see me as stupid. Does that mean that i tink all my friends there are stupid? what f***ing mentality have i adopted.

HC gives me a bright future though, if i get into council, it mayb a lot easier for me to acheive a scholarship. I cant afford to pay for studies in universities. It has a good environment, good notes, good teachers, nice mugger classmates.

If my appeal gets through, but i cant stay in my current class..den how? i have to take cl ao now..and i may not even get to take trip science anymore. Should i stay on to get council? or should i go back ac to take trip sci? I have a feeling i'd fail phy in trip sci anyway.

Screw life. i wish i could just quit schooling now.

Why am i running for council? In what way does it benefit me? becos there arent many other ccas i can join, because it reflects well on my cca port folio. because of f***ing reputation and respect. Den again, God blesses me with so many achievements, so that people can look into my life, and say ' God is graceful.. God is real '. If only everyone can blatantly see the christ in me, and not let it be concealed behind all my own flaws. If i went back to ac, i'd be satisfied living as a mundane ACSian, living a fun and eventful life in the company of old friends

I love my friends. Thankyou so much for celebrating my birthday with me. =) Thankyou david and zhenghan for coming to my house to accompany me on e day of my birthday. Thanks for staying to talk rubbish with me.

Yongneng and Abel Su, i have no comments. i cant express my gratitude well enough due to limited vocabulary. It was definitely one of the best days of 2005. Shaun thanks so much for letting us go to your house. thanks deborah letitia Nadine Matheus Leslie Jonathanliang and aditya for gracing this occasion and making me feel so special.

Thanks shaun for the cake! to the guys thanks for the hat!! it was really nice =) Nad thanks for the shirt! i'd wear it the next time i see you.

Thanks abel and yongneng for planning so many things. thanks for even pLANning to SURPrise me with Jerrine..haha..watever~

thanks Ying! for remembering my birthday and calling to wish me! hope that all things are working out fine for you.. =) catch some life man! haha tsd like killed u liddat.. If only u could make it for my party..haha i stil owe u a treat man

thanks andy and biondi ( hc classmates ) for yer wishes =)

ACPB jacket rocksss... but wa lau the crest was screwed up got spelling error ' Ihe Best is yet to be '... damn got to wait another 2 weeks..i tink the colour coordination is perfect, matches ac uniform like WAA..and as i said already last year..it is not meant to be worn outside school or when not in school functions..not for orchard-road wear..ppl will luff at u..they coming to claim back next tuesday..

I dread tuesday. It is when it would be decided for me, which jc i would go to. be it ' hwachong science' or 'acjc science'.. i wont know wat to feel either way.. happy? or downcast? i tink it'd be a mixture of both. id be sad to leave hc, but sad too if i cant go ac..i want to stay in hc, yet i want to return to ac. torn between two schools.